Be Who You Are: April 25th-May 12th(Plays of the weeks!!)

April 25th-May 12th

Happy Mother's Day to me:)

Some days it feels like I may never make it another day. There are days that I hear crying for hours and hours. Through those hours I bounce, rock, pat her back, turn music up, go outside, and at the wits end just try to ignore it. All of those days seem so dark and so lonely as I know this is not the norm. However, when I have days like today(Mother's Day) and I look at my two beautiful children I know it is all worth it and that I CAN DO IT. I love my children and I love Addi regardless of any special needs she may have. She is my daughter and I am her mother and I will survive the bad and ugly days. She is just doing what all little kids do...testing their moms patients. She does a really good job at it and some days I fail miserably but I try my best. For Mother's Day this year we had a baby free night. For the first time since Landyn was born I went to bed and slept straight through(until 5 am when I got up to pump). It was an amazing feeling! I also got a gift card to the spa and 30 bottles of Island Mist Wine!!! I feel so very lucky not just for those things but for the two children that give me the privilege of celebrating a day like today.

What have we been up two for the last 2.5 weeks....

We had the kids swimming at the Cole Harbour place and they both loved it!! Landyn took a little while to warm up to the idea of it but had fun eventually
Addison is back into riding every Monday at 3:30. Last week she got to lay on the horse while he walked around she loved it.
We have been spending a lot of time outside in the yard. Addison and Landyn both love their swing set. Addison could spend hours in hers I think. We had to clean up the yard, spread soil, do sods, and then finish the gardens with mulch. We couldn't have done this without the help of our friends and family. Dad got a Bobcat which made everything so much easier! The house looks so good now! Nice to not be living in a dirt pit!
Addison had CP clinic on the 2nd. It was the usual meeting with us and then 10 various professionals involved in her care. It is very intimidating when you walk in the room. Everyone looking for me to start the meeting with what is new with us. All amongst trying to feed Addison lunch. In the end I do lots of talking, they listen. Addison was having partial complex seizures again and we increased her keepra that didn't help with the seizures and turned her into a bear....and I mean a bear. Crankier then cranky so they said we could put it back down. We are ready for her surgery now. We also met with haematology and they explained the blood work stuff to us. They said they don't really know why her blood clotting factor was off but they are OK to move forward with surgery and are going to give her a special med to help with the clotting to prevent any major setbacks. She also had her blood pressure checked and that was perfect! The meds definitely work for her! We had her weighed and she was 26 lbs, 11 oz!!! 33 inches long! She gained good since our last visit so we are doing something right with the blended diet! I am so glad that we took the plunge and did it!!!!
Addison hasn't gone to bed before 10pm in a long time and a lot of nights it is 11 or later. It is making for long days with no breaks. We can't wait for the surgery to be over so we can get her back on melatonin and magnesium to help with sleep and tone!
I had the flu last week. It was probably the worst flu I ever had. I didn't vomit but I had a fever and bad stomach pains for a few days. I went for some blood work but everything was fine. I am glad I don't get sick often. Landyn had a bad cold and an ear infection as well. He went of food strike through that time which is always frustrating.
Surgery is Friday. Landyn will be going to Helen and Leo's while we are in the hospital. We are looking forward to having it all over with. Addison has been crying a lot lately and we don't know why. We are hoping once the surgery is done and the healing is done maybe we can get our happy little girl back